sitting in the backyard sipping on my starbucks iced caffe americano. yes decaf with a carmel shot and a splash of honey. LOVE this drink and it has pretty much replaced my REAL coffee. no dairy means pretty much no hot coffee cause I usually put milk in my coffee. so this is what is working for me now.
it has been quite a weekend. lots of thinking and lots of reflection. thinking about my cousin and how he is coping without as he says "his one true love". do you have that? do you have a "one true love?" if you do you need to remember to appreciate them with all ya got. I've been thinking about how much time I spend pointing out what is not done, done wrong or the fact that the tv is on yet again. I waste a lot of my breath basically being a bitch. not something that a "one true love" deserves. and really if the grass is not cut is something going to fall from the sky and declare that because the grass has not been cut we will cease living? NO! if the tomato paste, god forbid, has been put on the pasta shelf instead of the canned goods shelf does it make it inedible? HELL NO! if the tv is the ONE thing that brings my true love countless hours of entertainment should I complain? probably not - because he is at home. not out and about playing softball on some beer league or galavanting in some bar surrounded by drunk women on the prowl. I can see him and therefore I KNOW that he is here and he wants to be here. granted that at times I wish the tv was turned off and I was his entertainment, but remember I NEED TO NOT COMPLAIN!
what I learned from mary and all that she had endured in her struggle was to appreciate my loved ones more. take the time to listen and take the time to just "be" with them. the grass can wait, the garbage can wait, the blog reading can wait. when I die I really doubt that my regret will be that I wish had taken the garbage out on a regular basis. NOT!
and the times that I made choices which have left me to feel guilty I need to let go of. I cannot change the past, but I can certainly make sure that from now on I go with my gut and just do it.
I am working on doing things that cause me enjoyment more than things I feel I HAVE to do. "HAVE TO DO" is so yesterday! "WANNA DO" is where its at!
so be kind to your loved ones, spend time with them, take time for yourself to do what you love to do without guilt! I promise not to comment on the dust bunnies when I visit! rather I will take enjoyment in listening to you tell me all about the time you spent with your family. live your life...its the only one you got!
