full worm moon dreamboard

this month I had trouble getting to my dream board. it is kind of comical because that has been something that I have uncovered lately. this block or hesitance. call it fear or call it safety. it's like something inside me is holding me back. I don't understand it. what payoff am I getting from staying where I am or avoiding something that if I tried it might propel me forward? is it the safety I feel about myself as is? we are forever changing. everything changes so it's not about wanting more change. I think it is about wanting more, but at the same time having less.

I have this deep need to have everything emptied. stripped down, like a skeleton. and then start reapplying the layers as they call for their place. some days I find myself very unsettled. anxious to vacate. other days I find moments of calm and peace, warmth and comfort and the desire to stay in my cocoon.

if I look back on last month's dream board I also struggled to start it. hmmm? the theme was fun, taking risks, different angles and lots of blue and light. well I did manage to fix the kitchen light! I did have fun more than usual and I did a lot of things that I normally would not do so that would be the risk taking. looking at things from different angles? not sure about that one. I guess sometimes we just don't know the meaning. we just know.

and so this month I had no trouble gathering my images. they just jumped out at me. my dream board is filled with butterflies, birds, colors, play and the lady with the umbrella for me means shelter. I think of freedom with the birds and the butterflies. flying off...

umbrella? shelter? protection?

the words I picked were "let your story unfold" and "off she's gone" and "stop talking yourself out of the life you want most".

getting ready for some sort of journey perhaps? bring it!

did you do a dream board this month? check out what others have done over at jamie's site!

full snow moon dreamboard

last month I asked for:

- more love of self and others

I worked really hard on reminding myself that I am okay and loving myself has greater rewards than hating myself. with others I tried to accept the fact that we are all different and not to take things so personally. love others for who they are and not who I want them to be.

- less guilt for putting myself first

a tough one for me, but again I made a huge effort this month to put myself first. I said no a few times and when that pang of guilt hit I told myself that it is just as important to take care of myself as it is other people.

- accepting that there is nothing wrong with me

let's just say this one did not go so well! the gremlins are strong and most times their voices are louder than I can bear. one day at a time.

- filling my heart with joy by making time to make stuff

I took a few days this month to just play with no real outcome. I got messy and had paint everywhere including my face, but it felt good and I felt filled up with joy.

- giving gifts to myself and others - just because

my gift to myself this month was the art journal love letters. I have been having a blast playing around with different mediums and learning new techniques to use in my journals. I sent out gifts and cards to people without occasion or reason. I loved hearing their reaction and their plan to pay it forward.

- continuing to be brave in my discovery of self

I started asking myself questions in my journal and getting the thoughts down on paper to see if they pop back at me with more clarity. in some instances I have found out things I already knew about myself, but how to overcome the same fears I feel over and over? it is something I yearn to figure out.

- gathering with friends and family to celebrate and support

we had a wonderful celebration of love with our family and friends. I love getting everyone together and just basking in the love and laughter that we share. this month has already brought more gatherings and more to come. love it!

this month's dreamboard was a struggle to start with and then before you know it I had all my images together. the common thread seemed to be fun, being silly, taking risks, different angles and lots of blue and light.

looks like I will be looking at things a bit differently and perhaps stepping into the light to shine and take some risks? time to put on my brave pants and go for it...

did you do your dreamboard this month? go over here and share...

full wolf moon dreamboard

beautiful jamie has inspired me to join her in creating full moon dreamboards. january was my first dreamboard and if I "reflect" on how my month went I can truly say "well". I ate many more fresh foods and less animal products. I made choices on a daily basis of how to be kinder to myself. some of those choices included stopping and thinking about why I felt the need to beat myself up after a 90 percent healthy meal. I felt that the 10 percent was awful and how could I do that. so I stopped and asked myself why? closing the door to negative self talk! it has been a process, but one that I am moving forward with and that makes me happy.

accepting that I am not alone. ooohhhh! hard one for ME! BUT and this is a big BUT I am trying and I am reaching out. I am making connections that are healthy and leaning on people when I need to. I guess it has to do with trust. I have for a long time not been trusting myself and so in turn I guess I figured out I couldn't trust anyone.

I have been reading more. lots more. stories of women and their struggles, recipe books, art technique books. my fave read as of late - I am a woman finding my voice by janet quinn. I have it in my purse and whenever I am waiting at an appointment I pull it out and read a few pages. very inspiring and beautifully written.

being braver, getting outside, seeing the beauty and being comfortable in my own skin kind of all came together when I decided to go back to the beginning and join a learn to run clinic. last year I really neglected my body. lived with a lot of pain and ate poorly all with the excuse that the universe had handed me crap and so I might as well feel just as crappy. why should I be so friggin' happy when the whole world around me was crumbling down.

and so I began. it was scary at first. I had not run since my injury in vegas. and I am running in the cold. two strikes right off the bat! but I am doing it and I am enjoying the outdoors as it is truly beautiful in the winter.

for the month of february and the full wolf moon I want to howl out my desires:

- more love of self and others

- less guilt for putting myself first

- accepting that there is nothing wrong with me

- filling my heart with joy by making time to make stuff

- giving gifts to myself and others - just because

- continuing to be brave in my discovery of self

- gathering with friends and family to celebrate and support

what desire are you howling? create a dreamboard and join us!

full blue moon dreamboards

this is what I wish to manifest in january

* eat fresh foods

*be kinder to myself

*accept that I am not alone

*read more

*close the door to negative self talk

*be brave

*get outside more

*see the beauty

*be comfortable in my own skin

I did mine on a calendar so that I could have it hanging up and see it often to remind myself of what I wish to manifest. each month new goals, dreams and thoughts and beautiful visuals. how exciting!

thank you jamie!