and poof it's september...

wow! where did the month go?

-I am now a year older, but I feel like I am getting younger everyday

-I created a whack of purses/bags for ponytails and horseshoes. I am so honored that they have given me the opportunity to sell my art in their salon.

-I reconnected with my old boyfriend from italy.

- I took off to toronto for a reunion with my tribe...

we shared our time creating...

eating good food and making mushroom mustaches...

talking till the wee hours of the morning and promising each other that this will be an annual event. four and half out of seven of us made it this year.

-I took the leap and signed up for this a while ago and made the deadline! woo!

-busy packing and sorting and even had a garage sale.

-picking colors and textures, cabinets and floors, appliances and furniture for the new place.

-dan has returned from his adventures in montreal. so happy he is back safe and sound. he turned twenty yesterday which is blowing my mind!

-I felt like this month I have had a good rhythm between taking care of mom and dad and feeding my soul. more time in the studio makes for a happy girl!

life is good!

read more...

one of my goals for the summer was to read more. I had picked out some books to read "fo sure" and I cannot recall what they even were cause I have been reading up a storm. here are some of my top inspiring reads:

kathryn stockett - the help

I actually listened to this audio book. the characters had different voices and I could picture exactly where they were and what they looked like. I love that these women came together and took risks to tell their story. beautifully written and I so thought it should be a movie and IT IS GOING TO BE!

sark - inspirational sandwich, transformation soup, eat mangoes naked, the bodacious book of succulence

I have loved sark forever and while packing up the studio I came across her books and began reading them over again. full of color and inspiration and marvelous stories. most recently these words have stuck with me "I believe that we need to go to where we want to be, and the resources will follow us. impossible means I'm possible!" taken from inspiration sandwich.

anne lamott - bird by bird, grace (eventually),

I started with the dvd about her and loved it. one of her lines "it's good to consider where you are going to be at eighty. I believe at eighty we are not going to wish we spent more time cleaning our houses. I believe at eighty we are not going to wish we stayed out of warm tropical water because our thighs were not firm." I think she is beautiful and I love her voice. her words are so true and her struggles and her strength have me looking at myself and believing that "I am ok".

cheryl richardson - the unmistakable touch of grace

again another audio book. love these for the studio! the recording was of an actual weekend retreat and I loved hearing the participants stories of grace. I love cheryl's voice and her statement of "every person we meet has been put in our path for a reason". she has me thinking more about my "touches of grace" and how if I just surrender to it rather than fight it I end up with more peace. recently I have had oodles of moments that stop me to wonder "why has this come to me now?" and I am just going with the flow.

linda woods & karen dinino - visual chronicles, journal revolution & meeting in the ladies room

beginning with visual chronicles and journal revolution they were early inspiration for me in my visual journaling. "have no fear" and "rise up and create" they encouraged me to look at the everyday things like receipts, tea bags and recycle items as pieces of my life. examples of how to include them in your journals and your art and how to celebrate the truths and the trials of life.

most recently their "meeting in the ladies room" which sits on my side table for anyone who comes over to pick up because I think everyone should read this book male and female. it is a gathering of different women from all over with their stories, thoughts and reflections. it made me laugh. it made me cry. mostly it made me realize that when I look in the mirror of any bathroom it can totally determine my mood for the day. I also realized that I have a serious problem with public washrooms. ick! it will have you remembering many moments in bathrooms - alone, with girlfriends, kids, strangers and for me most recently my mom. I love these ladies and you will too!

enjoy reading, listening and soaking up inspiration from all these fabulous authors!

a very special man...

we celebrated papa's birthday yesterday. he is 74. I don't think he looks 74, but I do think he looks tired.

he has been amazing this last year. with mom not able to do the things she used to do he has taken over. laundry, cooking, cleaning and running the household have become his responsibilities. somedays he is proud as a peacock about all he does and somedays he wants to throw in the towel. more than not he wants to throw in the towel.

it makes me sad to think of how much he has had to take on in this last year. he had different plans for their life. mom always treated him like gold. did everything for him. he was a prince and we never let him forget it. thing is he enjoyed it!

I am starting to remember more and more good things about my past and my dad plays a huge role in the good things about my childhood. him and I did a lot of things together as mom was always trying to get me out of her way so that she could get things done. so dad usually had to entertain me.

I remember many bike rides with him. he still has the bike that he rode in the 70's. purple! he taught me how to build things in his workshop. I think it is credit to him that I am not afraid to tackle any household project. he would let me use the table saw, drill and hammer up little boxes. I still have one of those boxes. we spray painted it silver. he let me use the lawn mower, paint the fence and taught me how to drive.

mom would ground me from riding my bike and dad would let me go anyway. I know that she resented our relationship. she always said I loved him more. it's true, I did and I do. it is hard for me to admit that, but it is true.

mom is limited in what she can do and depends on others to help her with practically everything so as far as I can see she is doing fine. she is being well taken care of and we are all trying to make her life as best as possible for her despite her challenges.

dad on the other hand has lost a great deal of weight. he has lost his wife or at least the wife as she was. he is tired, he is cranky, his is sick and I am afraid. I am afraid that I may lose him and it scares me to death.

I need to keep reminding myself that I cannot control what happens nor can I fix everything. I am doing the best I can with what I have and what I know. I will continue to take care of myself and my family. in that order.

it is okay to feel the way that I feel. it is okay to cry when I need to and laugh hard when I do. I am happy with how I am looking at this. putting it all out on the table and looking at it as "life" and not "loss".

because at the end of the day he is still here and I am very fortunate that I have such a special man to call "papa". we still joke around and laugh at the silliest little things. we are trying to talk about our feelings and make decisions based on the reality of the situation. and last night we lit candles and sang "happy birthday" over and over and over. cause seriously I think it is impossible to sing "happy birthday" too many times! we sang and we laughed and celebrated my amazing "papa".

I had a lot of "happy moments" this week, but this was the best. what was yours?

forever in love...

he was amazing as always...

he wandered out into the crowd and brushed past me. up close! like right there! I was ready to rush the stage SO many times. tammy wasn't quite prepared for that. her fault though for filling me with bellini's before the concert.

if you ever get the chance to see michael franti, you MUST! it will be an incredible experience. I GUAR-AN-TEE it! jon baby you have some serious competition!

today I am "happy!"

and tonight?

I will be "estatic!"

my cuz and I will be attending the michael franti concert tonight! we are gonna pack up our crazies and dance our booties off. she has no idea what she is getting into. AND if I get the chance...I will be up on stage with her beside me! we haven't been out alone together since we were teenagers so I am sure we will get into a bit of trouble...

"hey mama, hey mama, dancing with you"

I will always love you too, baby...

still recovering from the concert. kid rock opened for bon jovi and I was pleasantly surprised. he had the crowd moving and shaking, singing and clapping. I think the best kind of opening act is one that gets us excited and ready for the show. high five kid!

and jon? well, of course he was AMAZING! poor thing had a bum leg. torn calf muscle which I totally would have massaged for him had I been allowed to leave my seat. I had never been to a concert at the stadium and I can honestly say that it was fantastic. I really think that listening to a performer out in the open at night as the sun is going down is an experience everyone should have. they had a hug screen in the middle and two smaller ones on the side so you had a great view from any seat. it was a class act show. the whole band played their assess off and the crowd made sure they knew how much we appreciated it.

and me? well, I refused to sit in my seat, sang at the top of my lungs and rocked my bootie all night long and clapped till my hands were sore. jon did not disappoint and I can't wait till we meet again. thank you jon!

it's time!!!!!