day two

ah, day two.  hmmm...well I certainly learned some things with this one.  namely do not scribble all over with pastels and then try to paint over it all.  I mean it was kind of kewl cause you get that sort of scratch into it technique that you used to do in school.  you know the one.  you would cover the page with crayon and then add black paint and then scratch into it.

"enough is enough" came to me because honestly "enough is fucking enough".  I have been in edmonton for the past week and it seems like two steps forward and three steps back.  I keep thinking that I am getting ahead of the game and then boom something or someone reminds me that I have not made much of a stride.

I debated on working backwards with my story but I guess beginning at the beginning is a good start. just over a year ago my husband who had been deeply dedicated and totally devoted to his job was given a kick in the nuts.  I don't know how else to explain it except - he got screwed.

a couple of days after receiving the news I left the country to embark on a new journey.  the journey of becoming a master facilitator of intuitive painting and the expressive arts with Chris Zydel.

I had dreamed of attending a retreat with chris for years and that dream came true in january 2014.  I spent a week with her and several other beautiful souls where I quickly learned that the shit I thought I had dealt with and buried was still inside me.  to say it was life changing is an understatement.  the work that chris does is magical.  the space she creates is sacred.  the love she gives is never ending.  she cracked me open and held me close.  I met women there who have since become my sista's.  their love and acceptance has carried me a lot this year.  a hell of a lot!

so upon returning from the retreat I decided to sign up for her one year program and become certified to then go forth and share the beautiful process with the world.

meanwhile back at home my dear sweet man carried on.  he walked into work each and everyday with his head held high and continued to work while not one soul said a word to him about what had happened.  no one acknowledged what had been done.  in my opinion - he didn't matter.

I was off on a journey of learning, growing, exploring and excitement of what was to come for me and my business.  all the while thinking - how are we going to pay for any of this - NOW?  those worries continued to grow and my man continued to reassure me that we would get through it.  we always did and we will.

I guess when I say "enough is enough" I should really accept that it will never be enough.  there will always be something.  there will always be a lesson we are meant to learn.  there will always be a journey that we are put upon.  the elephant symbolizes strength, stability, honour and patience.

I am strong like the elephant.  stable?  hmmm...I'll get back to you on that one.  I honour this life and all that I have been given - good, bad and otherwise.  patience?  oy!  it's a hard thing to be patient right now.  I am probably leaning more towards impatience but I will continue to walk forward and one day I will be ready to open the door.

*in april of this year I participated in an elephant love art reach.  you can see more about here.

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