miss ya buddy!

1996 - 2009

(wo)man's best friend

max & sparky march 2009

since we lost max I have often wondered if sparky was lonely and missed him. I know I did so I was pretty sure sparky was in the same boat. oh he had his share of play dates and puppy daycare. all were met with excitement and exhaustion. you remember sparky? he is pretty much a piece of furniture. not much excitement, never has been. he pretty much waddles around the house and occasionally wags his tail. there are those odd times when he perks right up and we are convinced he went into mamma's medicine cabinet again. and so I decided to start a little experimenting.

exhibit a - sparky a la solo:

appears to be searching for a friend.

exhibit b - sparky and his new friend "bunny":

seriously? the bunny looks more excited than sparky!

exhibit c - sparky's new friend "pete":

as you can see sparky opted out of the photo and pete was "just visiting anyway.

exhibit d - "joey" aka sparky's new brother:

an 8 month old shitzu bichon whom we rescued.

who thinks sparky is a big white foot stool, but gives him the occasional kiss. sparky is intrigued by joey and follows him around which in my eyes means we are on to something. so far the two of them have been getting along fine. no tight bond, but no fights either. I love that sparky is curious about what joey is doing and he is wanting to show off for him more and more. I pulled out the treat ball last night and sparky chased it around the living room while joey tried to figure out what all the fuss was about...and then the treat fell out. fun!

miss ya SO much...

max, may 2008

just dropped the little one off at the groomers. poor thing. max used to be our gauge as to when they would get groomed. if he was a hairy mess then it was time to get him shaved down and for sparky to get spruced up. so I went. and it was hard. as soon as I opened the door and saw her, she knew and she began to cry. our groomer is amazing and she was the only one who had max at such a trust and comfort level that she could trim his nails. in the beginning he ran for the door, but these last few years he ran to her. it was a beautiful transformation and you could tell by her face today that it was a special bond.

you think I would have known as the last couple of days I have been a bit discombobulated. crying for no reason or all reasons. snapping peoples heads off left, right and center. losing my patience in traffic and at the store. not like me and NO it is not PMS. I checked! I miss him like crazy and have started saying "I'm getting a puppy!" of course I don't mean today or tomorrow or even in the next week or month or possibly year, but I am getting one. I decided all by myself without asking anyone. it is that important to me and my well being.

in the past week or so I have yelled "max, where the hell are you?" each time I drop a bit of food on the floor. he was our hoover. I have been spending more time outside as we finally have warmer weather and I have noticed a different type of atmosphere. no barking, no running around and through anything in his way and most important no pup sunning himself on the deck. I remember him coming in the house after being out in the sunshine and his fur being so warm. I would nuzzle up to him and soak in the sunshine.

love ya buddy!

one more day...

"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." - Vicki Harrison

and so as they say "life goes on" and indeed it does.  each day passes into the next and so on.  some days I feel like I am okay and I can keep it together and other days I feel like I am completely lost.  unfortunately at the moment I have more lost days.

I wake up and you are not there.  I miss your curled up body at my feet.  I miss waking up and scooting down to give you a good morning kiss and ask you if you are ready to wake up.

I miss the little noise that your dog tags made as you walked around the house making sure it was all in order before you settled on the couch.  I miss your bark as you warned me about someone across the street.

I miss your smell and rubbing your nose.  I miss cuddling up with you on the couch.  I miss the clank of your water dish reminding me that you needed water.

I miss you at my feet in the studio.  I would peek at you and ask you how you were doing.  I would show you what I made and you would sniff it and give your approval.  oh man you were the best critic!

I miss your little grrrr at the back door to be let out and then the little yelp to be let back in.  I miss the ripping back and forth along the fence at the passerby's.  and when I called you in to be quiet and get inside and you trotted along the sidewalk. you were a noisey boy, but man you were cute!

I miss your little "timon stance" when you were begging for whatever I had.  you would sit, lay down and roll over, back up on your hind legs and you would speak.  you were very talented!  I even taught you how to add.  once you had the treat it was gone in a second!  you loved your treats.  the last treat you had went down a bit slower, but I had to let you have it.

I miss coming home and there you were at the door, tail wagging, head bobbing and SO happy to see me!

come to think of it you were always happy to see me.  you loved me to pieces!  you listened to me when I rattled on and on.  you snuggled up to me when I needed it.  you just knew!  you followed me around the house to see where I was going.

I miss our nighttime routine.  one last potty break (for both of us).  pounce onto the bed and snuggled up in a ball at my feet.  you kept me warm.  you made me feel safe.  you made feel like I was the most important being in the world.  you really loved me.

I hate going to bed without you.  I hate waking up to find that you are not there.  I hate being at home without you.  I hate coming home because I know that you are not there.

I miss you dearly buddy.  I wish I had one more second, one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more month, one more year, but it would never be enough.  I feel so selfish in even thinking it.  I hope you know how much I loved you.

thank you...

for protecting me...

for always being curious about what I was doing...

for laying with me when I was sick...

for finally learning how to play fetch...

for letting me hug and squeeze you...

for loving the outdoors as much as I do...

for walking slowly and waiting for sparky...

for curling up for bed and still being there come morning...

for inspiring me in the studio...

for teaching me how to downward dog...

for letting me give you kisses...

for waiting by the door for me to come home and being so happy to see me...

for keeping me company on the couch...

for playing along with my tradition of christmas stockings...

for being patient with sparky when he forgot which kennel was his...

for being my brave boy...

mama loves you!

good bye buddy...

1996 - 2009

hump day

-17 today, cold, friggin' cold! here is a recap of today's exciting events:

8:00 am - child is dropped on my doorstep, sick and asking for ginger ale, give him two pills and send him to bed

8:30 am - after spending fifteen minutes getting bundled up like a two year old I join some other maniacs and run 10 km whereby we spend the next hour or so whining about how friggin' cold it is!

11:00 am - return home with ginger ale, hot chocolate (non fat, with just a splash of whip) and check on the child

12:00 am - after soup and a sandwich plant myself on the couch and am joined by this:



and for the next hour - we slept - and we were warm - I love this dog!