to what I like to call the "season of the forced smile...

I was reading a blog the other day were she talked about a fellow blogger and how her life sounded way too perfect to be true. I hope that I have not given you the impression that MY life is perfect. whoa!

so yesterday was supposed to be my longest run before the half marathon in vegas and needless to say it was a short 5 km. I had stomach cramps, was worried about him, feeling overwhelmed at all I had to get accomplished and so I headed back home. we have not been well since returning from our tropical get away. tests are due back any day now. it sucks!

so after my bouts of crying and crying some more and many hugs I pulled up my big girl panties and started to tackle things that needed to get done. I have been feeling so tired lately and have no energy and yet my mind says "go", but my body says "whoa". hopefully my doc visit today will help me gain some insight on that. 

do you feel overwhelmed? or am I the only freak? not that you are a freak. you are probably a really nice person. I label myself as "the freak". I tend to walk around the house and in doing so I spot all the things that should get done. organizing, moving items out of the room, cleaning, purging and so on. it bothers me! it bothers me SO much that when I open a door and see the "it" that needs to get done I feel awful. I open a lot of doors each and every day and so that awful feeling really piles up.

I know, you are saying, so, stop opening the doors! easy solution! but how do I get dressed? I could have him get my clothes for me. done. how do I clean my eyeglasses? move the cleaning stuff. how do I cook? do take out. and let's not even mention all the piles of books and magazines that I have now come to the conclusion that I will die before I get to read them all. 

and so that brings us to - winter - aka as the season of my forced smile. why? cause I hate it! there I said it! the stork dropped me off in the wrong country and I have been trying to get back home ever since. damn bird! so basically in the next couple of weeks I need to come up with a plan that will turn this frown upside down. a new way of looking at winter in a good way. I have already discovered that tanning beds are out. I will pay the price for tropical fruit without complaining. revamping the rec room into a beach was not looked upon as a "fun" reno idea so no go on that. 

I'll keep trying and in the mean time I will crank the goLITE to 30 minutes and pray that I get a slight glow. happy monday!

1 comment:

Ute said...

I'm with you baby....I too am a "freak". Hate winter with a passion and spend alot of time in my bed crying about it. You can join me if you like, there's more than enough room. Kisses.