recovering...



interesting question, isn't it?

here is were I am, now. recovering and no not in the sick, addiction (although quite possible), accident etc. sort of way.

recovering files, music, addresses and recovering from bouts of tears. lots of tears. my hard drive crashed and I lost buckets. it is not all gone, but what it will take to recover it is time. I don't seem to have a lot of that on my hands lately. I am feeling quite overwhelmed and quite in the mood to take the green garbage bag and start throwing it all away. I mean really. when I sit down and make that ever so helpful list of "things to do" I would like to add "sit on my ass and stare out in space".

I hate to complain as there are far more serious things happening in this world then my big, huge, worthless pity party. I really have nothing to complain about and yet I do. why is that? what is complaining doing for me? is it making things magically disappear. nope, dog still here. oh yeah, sparky the wonder dog avec widest hips in the west went in for more tests today. the doctor said that if everything comes back okay that she will finally accept the fact that sparky is just uniquely shaped and a bit different than the average dog. huh?

I think she just described ME!

in other news mom also made a trip to the doctor's today to find out why nothing has moved forward. no calls from the clinic and no calls from the specialist. cripes!

I had a meltdown last night and decided that I had nothing to eat and never will and will never enjoy the act of eating, EVER! like that was something new? my trip to the doctor's happens next wednesday where hopefully we will be told that I will have to eat like this forever or that I will have to eat like this forever. cause really what is the other option? oh yeah, let's start reintroducing those wonderful foods back into your life and see how it goes...

let me tell you how it goes. you eat good stuff, you get sick, you cry cause you once again want the good stuff and can't have it! in the steps to recovery I think I have finally entered acceptance. okay, partially, but I am starting to think that it is my only choice and so why fight it?

are ya still with me? okay so today was the oh so exciting vet trip, laundry, finish up an exciting project (that I will hopefully share with you tomorrow), and take the homeless man, I mean my son to get a haircut. he does not want one as he thinks he looks amazing with all that hair in his face and down to his knees. kidding, but did ya get that picture in your head or what?

so do you know where you are on your journey? share it with me, k? ciao!

4 comments:

Gawdess said...

always on that journey, putting one foot in front of the other and at least 10k a week of it is a lot lighter and easier because I cover that distance with you.
Hugs girl, and look forward to the art!

Rachel said...

Your computer died??

aw =( that's awful. I hope the restoration process goes so much smoother and faster than you are expecting!

Laurie said...

Journey? hell..I'm right there with ya. Shoving one foot in front of the other. Making ourselves do things we sometimes don't want to do but know it is for the better healthier journey we want to be on. Hell I think I am in this with Sparkle too! Wide hips..doctors visits...Can you say.. parallel universe?

Kim said...

Chasing my tail and thinking I've gone miles.