could I get a little w(h)ine with that please?

it seems like weeks have passed since I started my recent adventure. I decided that I would like to be "auntie of the year". I have lost "mother of the year" seventeen times in a row and I believe I got this one before the clock even started. picture this! I am asked if I will look after my two niece's while my SIL and BIL jet off to the Dominican Republic for two weeks. I say - SURE! I did! I shouted when I said it! I must have been heavily medicated at the time! Kidding! And so on Wednesday night I come through the door to see the 2 year old bawling her eyes out. when did this start? when she was told that auntie Nadia was here. perfect! I sit on the floor. start talking about the barbie's. blah, blah, blah and all of the sudden she is my best friend. then it hits her! kinda like Oprah's a ha moment I'm sure! she says to her mom "I okay now!" and then turns to me and says "I okay now!". to which I respond "I okay now too, Jorja". and so began a wonderful friendship. mom and dad leave. no crying. none! I am appalled! do you kids not bawl your faces off after mom and dad leave the house? I always thought they did! apparently not OR maybe I AM "auntie of the year"?

then it starts....the a "gasp" mini van! AND I in my "gasp" sweatpants. oh yeah baby! get up, get the kids ready, brush your teeth, fingers through your hair, whose going to see you attitude and you are out the door! drive to the daycare and back to the house to switch vehicles. drive home to let puppies out and SHOWER! hang out with puppies for a while and drive back to the house to switch vehicles. drive back to the daycare to pick up the kidlets. first night went well, second night we are still doing okay with the exception of the poop bomb. this little girl is not potty trained and has been brainwashed by the babysitter to keep her poops for auntie. NIIIIICE! the five year old and I are running away from the two year old who smells so bad. we are faux puking as we run and plugging our noses and the whole time laughing as well. then starts the "potty talk". and I ain't talking "potty mouth". I make a deal with the two year old that if she starts using the potty she will get stickers and after five stickers she will get a big present. we shake. I tell her to yell for me when she has to go potty cause I don't want to see anymore poops! got it? to which she replies "yes, auntie na-yah".

and the next day more driving. about four hours of driving per day. I could have been in Mexico by now I'm sure. today included Kindergarten where actual human beings witnessed my appearance. at least I wore jeans today! we are still doing well and the "potty talk" has continued with the occasional sit on the potty to see if we can come up with anything. at least she is trying and she is having fun.

TODAY! OMG! this was the day where someone. anyone. who dare tell me "what were you thinking?" would have been killed or at the very least seriously injured. we start off with gymnastics. adult participation. huh? you want me to what? did I mention I run? ya,..I'm in training and I, um, can't really jump into the foam pit for fear that I could sustain an injury which would prevent me from running the half marathon in two weeks. the foam pit? could you just picture me hauling MY ass out of that? okay, maybe don't picture it. we finish class and M turns to me and says "I need to pee". NICE! I mention that we are babysitting and WE don't get to pee! off I go to dress the girls while the bathroom break happened. I get into the van and ask for the Purell. none! OMG! stop for timbits. head home. sanitize after being in the germ pit with rug rats. make lunch. start the valentine making marathon. the five year old wants to make her valentine's for school and the daycare. thirty cards! cut, score, cut, paste, and while we were eating dinner the two year old spills her milk and the two us lunge to stop it from wrecking our hard work. I put the two year old on the potty and tell her to sing a song and try to go potty. she is on there for ten minutes while I run back and forth between her and the kitchen to clean up. I take her off and ask her to wash her hands and I will be back. she yells for me and I run back to the bathroom where I am greeted with pee on the stool and the floor. PERFECT! could she not have jumped two inches back on the toilet? LOL! ugh! so then bedtime where we find out that the music/light machine light is not working. PANIC! in between screw heads, plug taps, battery searches, broken finger nail, pop a few white pills (kidding!) I finally get her happy and sleeping. five year old in bed, no problem.

and that brings me to today....this morning they slept in till 8 am! omg! THANK YOU! we get up. the two year old is doing her usual singing and the five year old is back working on the valentine's. I decide that we should all just stay in our pj's for the day. unfortunately after an attempt at the potty the two year old decided to play in the sink for a while and got completely soaked. outifit #1. at breakfast of delicious french toast and strawberries the two year old spills her milk all over the table, floor, herself and thank goodness completely misses the valentine pile. the five year old and I look at each other and without uttering a word we know. we know what the other one is thinking - sippy cup! off to wash the two year old and why not have her sit on the potty for a bit while I wash the kitchen floor. I get back to the bathroom and ask the usual:

N: did you pee?
J: no!
N: did you poop?
J: no!
N: you did not pee and you did not poop? (too many dr. suess books!)
J: NO auntie na - yah!
N: okay off the potty and WAIT A MINUTE! what's that? (pointing to the toilet)
J: I dunno?
K: OMG! did Jorja poop in the potty?
N: I think she did!
K & N: jorja pooped in the potty, jorja pooped in the potty (as we dance around with big huge smiles on our face)
J: I scared of poop.
K: don't be scared Jorja!
N: be happy! I'm happy!
J: Kaitlyn happy?
K: yes Jorja I'm happy too. do you wanna go make a potty chart?

and so off they go to make a beautiful potty chart complete with days of the week and spots for the wonderful stickers. we hang it on Jorja's door and place the first sticker on and then we dance again. outift #2

so this afternoon we are playing hide and go seek with uncle Mike and as he is searching for the girls he happens to step into the bathroom and into a puddle. right in front of the toilet. what? Jorja! did you pee in front of the toilet? yup! technically she was pretty darn close and so the potty dance happened along with the sticker ceremony. two potty trips in one day and this is what is making my day! I, me, the mother of a boy who I should mention is 17 have managed to semi potty train a two year old girl. tomorrow I'm going to teach her how to make me a latte and then no more whining. they are both in bed now. the two year old in outift #3 and a load of laundry fresh out of the dryer. how do they (SIL & BIL) do this? oh yeah....there is TWO of them!

1 comment:

Gawdess said...

hoooo, maybe you are getting enough exercise doing this!