|mama blowing out the candles 2012|
oh mama. it's your birthday today. I am hoping that wherever you are that you are surrounded by tons of people and that you are eating lots of cake.
you always loved sweets. you would bake a cake, buy a pie or pick up some doughnuts and after offering us some you would promptly eat up the rest. I still don't know how you stayed so slim eating all those sweets.
I remember in italy when zio would pick up a tray of pastries for you and you would sit there devouring each one. you would get lost in the taste and texture of each one.
I remember when you tried time and time again to make lemon meringue pie cause you knew it was my favourite and the meringue would always flop. it was still good mama. it was fine. every time I see a lemon meringue pie I think of you.
I remember when you used to make the sherry wine cake from auntie louise's recipe. it would always take me back to california when we first met everyone and the times we shared together. the laughter, the celebration and of course lots of sweets. I found the recipe in your cupboard and made it for dad. dan had some too and I was able to tell him the story of how it all came to be.
I remember when you tried to make gluten free muffins for me because you wanted me to have something sweet to eat. they were awful weren't they mama? but you tried and you did it with love. you were so concerned that I couldn't eat much. you were so scared that I was really sick and keeping it from you.
I remember when you were going to the day program at st. joe's and you wanted to bring something for your birthday. kind of like kids in school bring cupcakes. so I made cupcakes, bought icing and sprinkles so that you could have something to bring. I remember you, dad and I sitting around the kitchen table decorating the cupcakes. you and I were icing and I think most of the icing ended up in your mouth. you kept licking your fingers and I kept telling you to stop and you would just giggle. that was the good part about your illness. it helped you to relax more about life. we would hand them over to dad who would cover them in sprinkles. swearing the whole time that they were getting everywhere and why in the heck are we doing this anyway. you were SO proud to bring your cupcakes in to share with the other patients. you told the story of how they came together. you loved sharing with people and loved telling stories.
so mama, I miss you. I'm sending you a great big kiss and a hug. I love you and hope you have a wonderful day. I can almost hear you saying "I love you too honey". ciao bella...