beautiful jamie has inspired me to join her in creating full moon dreamboards. january was my first dreamboard and if I "reflect" on how my month went I can truly say "well". I ate many more fresh foods and less animal products. I made choices on a daily basis of how to be kinder to myself. some of those choices included stopping and thinking about why I felt the need to beat myself up after a 90 percent healthy meal. I felt that the 10 percent was awful and how could I do that. so I stopped and asked myself why? closing the door to negative self talk! it has been a process, but one that I am moving forward with and that makes me happy.
accepting that I am not alone. ooohhhh! hard one for ME! BUT and this is a big BUT I am trying and I am reaching out. I am making connections that are healthy and leaning on people when I need to. I guess it has to do with trust. I have for a long time not been trusting myself and so in turn I guess I figured out I couldn't trust anyone.
I have been reading more. lots more. stories of women and their struggles, recipe books, art technique books. my fave read as of late - I am a woman finding my voice by janet quinn. I have it in my purse and whenever I am waiting at an appointment I pull it out and read a few pages. very inspiring and beautifully written.
being braver, getting outside, seeing the beauty and being comfortable in my own skin kind of all came together when I decided to go back to the beginning and join a learn to run clinic. last year I really neglected my body. lived with a lot of pain and ate poorly all with the excuse that the universe had handed me crap and so I might as well feel just as crappy. why should I be so friggin' happy when the whole world around me was crumbling down.
and so I began. it was scary at first. I had not run since my injury in vegas. and I am running in the cold. two strikes right off the bat! but I am doing it and I am enjoying the outdoors as it is truly beautiful in the winter.
for the month of february and the full wolf moon I want to howl out my desires:
- more love of self and others
- less guilt for putting myself first
- accepting that there is nothing wrong with me
- filling my heart with joy by making time to make stuff
- giving gifts to myself and others - just because
- continuing to be brave in my discovery of self
- gathering with friends and family to celebrate and support
what desire are you howling? create a dreamboard and join us!