ah yes, "I almost died" are words that are often spoken around here. I didn't almost die, but rather survived a six hour power outage. oh I know people! there are those who have survived longer power outages, but this is my story and how from the "lack of power" so to speak, I pondered a bit about a life with no power.
so the power went out unexpectedly this morning while the pot was boiling in preparation for two glorious eggs ready to be poached to perfection. the slices of bread upright in the toaster waiting for their pale white to be turned golden. the coffee machine whirring and warming up. I reached for the soy milk and filled up the milk container. I was ready to create a scrumptious breakfast fit for a "queen". all of the sudden boom. not a loud boom, but a boom like you know shit just went down and who's shit is it? the coffee machine stood before me with no sign of life. I was still holding the milk waiting to start steaming it to clouds of foam for my cappuccino. hmmmm...put the milk down and see that the stove has also died. the microwave - gone.
well, this is probably short lived I say to self. probably those construction workers have something to do with this. it will be up in no time. meanwhile I will grab a shower. flick the light switch - no power dumb ass! leave the door open to let in the light and worry that the temperature of the water will also die like the power. nope, nice and warm. all clean and let's dry the hair - no power! ok, fluff and go I guess. power still isn't on and so I think I'll just google power outage in edmonton and see what is what. oh, yeah, no internet. hmmm...i-phone to the rescue! I end up calling the power company and am told that I was notified that there would be a six hour power outage today. I was notified? with what? carrier pigeon? cause the bird didn't stop here. ok, well - release that which you cannot control. fine.
and there sitting on the kitchen counter are the eggs. shattered dreams of a lovely breakfast of poached eggs on toast. I'm not a quitter! I have a BBQ! while I am outside with the pot on the burner and the toast on the grill my neighbour comes over to ask if I knew about the power outage. nope and me neither she says. we chat about breakfast and I find out she has had her coffee. yeah, well, I had a few more minutes of shut eye - bring it! I tell her I am poaching my eggs and grilling my toast anyway. she laughs and says she will probably grill some chicken. blah! chicken for breakfast? AND she HAD her coffee? didn't make sense. needless to say the eggs and toast were not perfect, but I was proud of myself for not settling for cereal. I thought about the coffee and how I could crush the beans caveman style and boil some water on the BBQ and toss the coffee bits in. steam milk? warm milk? I finally let the coffee thing go and settled for an iced chai latte.
so tap, tap, tap go the fingers. now what? no internet! no power! I hadn't had my coffee so my mind was fuzzy and I just couldn't think of what to do. everything I thought about doing involved power. whoa nelly! let's pull back those reins and think about this for a minute. power outage? lack of power? no power, no idea of what to do. POWER!
ok, so then I started thinking about when we are lacking in our own power. when we shut down. when we don't stick up for ourselves. when we don't say what we want to say. when we shrink down till there is no sign of life within us. we get so tiny that we don't know what to do. where to go next? what's the plan? plan? no plan? if a coffee machine has no power = no coffee. if we have no power within ourselves = no life.
how do we turn that power back on within ourselves? well, I think we need to start with being honest with ourselves first. no finger pointing till you own up to the mask you have been sporting. do you feel like you need to embellish the truth to make yourself be better than the other person? and we all know that embellish is a pretty word for LIE! do you tell the world that all is perfect in your house when really your house, as in your insides, could use a little cobweb clearing? you are not fooling anybody! most of all you are not fooling yourself. first off you now need to keep track of all the lies you've been telling other people. oh my, the stress of trying to remember what you said to who and when and about what. all that is doing is sucking at your power. be you! what is so wrong with you that you need to pretend to be someone you are not? what is the fucking deal?
YOU are beautiful. YOU are enough. YOU are you and there is no one else like you. so why would you deprive the world of your unique self? you have gifts to offer to the world that no one else has. rip that mask off, put on your shiny cape and flex those power muscles! own it, be it and share it with the world.
yeah YOU! yay YOU! love YOU! and this 3:00 pm morning coffee tastes pretty darn awesome too.