and you know what that means! time for a fluoroscopic swallow test! okay not for me, but for ma. oh mama! we had quite a scare with her over a month ago when she choked on a piece of honeydew melon. heimlich and all! we had a meeting with the team this week and wanted to make sure we are meeting her needs when it comes to food. ha! this makes me chuckle cause mom is a foodie. she has always loved food and could eat you under the table all the while weighing just over a hundred pounds soaking wet. she has been on a thickened diet now since october and hates it!
so the whole fam damily loads into the truck and I am handed the keys. WTF? ok, fine I will drive the 21 year old truck and watch people drop as I kill them with the fumes. fun, fun! the whole ride there dad is complaining. about what? I'm not sure. I stopped listening after the third "jesus christ" was dropped. mom meets with the technicians and answers questions and also offers up that she was told she could eat kentucky fried chicken with gravy after the last exam and she still hasn't had it, but she doesn't like gravy but the chicken would be good and maybe some fries too, but no gravy cause I don't like it. poor thing. all she wants is the friggin chicken that I remember from my childhood.
after church on sundays if mom had a coupon we would stop at kfc and pick up a bucket. no fries (she made those at home), no salads, no buns - just chicken. that crispy grease laden deep fried goodness was our one take out meal long before mcdonald's came to town. fast forward to my weight watchers beginning where I gave it up completely because it wasn't worth the points. then I end up working next door to a kentucky fried chicken and proceed to barf at each shift from the smell. even now the mere smell of it makes my stomach turn. come to think of it chicken in general makes me hurl.
so we are on our way back and mom mentions the chicken again. dad is still bitchin' about something. I think this time it was why did we have to wait afterwards for this.....blah, blah, blah.
so I says "ma, do you want some chicken?" she says "oh sure". so I tell her I will stop and get her some. she asks if there is a kentucky fried chicken on the way back. well, of course there is mom and if there isn't I will find one! I'm on a mission mama! meanwhile I catch the tail end of dad's latest rant and it surrounds the chicken and me trying to kill my mother. whoa? what? and then I'm done. I start to tell him that he can be miserable or he can be happy. it's a choice. choose wisely I tell him! I tell him that if he chooses to be miserable and bitch and complain then everyone is miserable. look at mom! she is smiling. happy! the chicken chase may or may not have had something to do with her smile, but still! she says she wants the chicken and if she chokes, let her die. amen mama! at least she went with chicken in her belly and a smile on her face!
and yet as I pull into the kfc parking lot with dad's voice in one ear and mom beaming in the front seat, I'm proud of myself. I took a little piece of shit and chucked it in the trash. got rid of the awful smell of sucky and turned it into a sweet smell of cheer. go me! I walked into kfc and ordered mama up some chicken and fries (no gravy) and did it with a smile on my face and a little bit of gurgle in my tummy. oh the smell was awful ain't gonna lie, but I NEEDED to do this for HER. back at the car and her lips were smacking and she was already to roll up her sleeves and have a chicken feast right there in the car. whoa mama! wait till we get back to the home.
so why this turn of of emotion? why feel so crappy and useless one day and then the other day I am a patient, kind and gentle chicken grabbing peach? I am gonna thank the art for that. this morning I went a little crazy with pitbull in my ears and paint on my hands. I played with no plan. just getting messy before dealing with the mess of my parents and my life. it was good. I need to remember that I should do this before every appointment with them. get it out and then get on with it.
I have to admit though that I think I can still smell that damn chicken on my shirt, jacket and scarf. but it was all worth the smile on mama's face when she was chomping down the chicken and fries. and dad? well, sent him home with the left overs and a kiss. gotta love him!
and if you happened to listen to the music link I betcha you couldn't resist dancing! weeeeeeeee! my girl got a big ole bootie, your girl got a little ole bootie, la la la la....
